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The past two... three weeks have been shit. I've had my depression flare up so bad that I can barely get anything done. I end up staying late gaming just so I get tired enough to actually sleep, otherwise I spend hours laying there awake. I just can't get the motivation to work on commissions, and I know I should force myself but I'm at that stage where I'd rather just stick forks in my eyes.
Bazu completely took over the cooking which means the dishes have been left to me. I have zero energy to do them and they just keep piling up. It doesn't help that he keeps cooking with tomato sauces (even though I'm pretty sure he knows I hate them) and my skin is super sensitive to tomato sauces and makes me break out in blisters.
I just feel absolutely shit all the time right now. I need to reboot myself but I don't know how... well, more like I DO know how but I just don't want to. I'm getting extremely depressed over money too. I have zero income and I feel useless as fuck. I think I'm gonna go back on ESA because fuck this. I hate feeling like this. I should probably call them up but filling in and sending the form might be easier ngh. I really don't feel like I can call them right now anyways, my brain just feels like static noise.
I need to do more self-care and shit but I just feel so guilty that I haven't done any work lately. Every time I start something shit happens, like the tablet fucks up and it just throws me off and makes me feel worse. I need to break out of this so much.
I think I might try and do some cleaning or something to get myself going. I just want to give up, though.
Bazu completely took over the cooking which means the dishes have been left to me. I have zero energy to do them and they just keep piling up. It doesn't help that he keeps cooking with tomato sauces (even though I'm pretty sure he knows I hate them) and my skin is super sensitive to tomato sauces and makes me break out in blisters.
I just feel absolutely shit all the time right now. I need to reboot myself but I don't know how... well, more like I DO know how but I just don't want to. I'm getting extremely depressed over money too. I have zero income and I feel useless as fuck. I think I'm gonna go back on ESA because fuck this. I hate feeling like this. I should probably call them up but filling in and sending the form might be easier ngh. I really don't feel like I can call them right now anyways, my brain just feels like static noise.
I need to do more self-care and shit but I just feel so guilty that I haven't done any work lately. Every time I start something shit happens, like the tablet fucks up and it just throws me off and makes me feel worse. I need to break out of this so much.
I think I might try and do some cleaning or something to get myself going. I just want to give up, though.
