#012 The End of a Shitty Day

So today was the worst. Lots of negative stuff happened, and then to top it off, our rat Casper died. It was quick and came out of nowhere - a few seizures and he was gone. He was super healthy and only just started getting old so... that was a thing. I wasn't even able to see his body, it was too upsetting. My hormones are all over the fucking place and my mental health really isn't good right now. I really wish I could pull out of this weekend but it needs to happen I guess.

I know my auntie is going to constantly bring up my nana, I can feel it. She even changed her profile picture to 'I miss you, mum' which is fine and all but god... I can't cope with feelings right now. I feel like my pills have just stopped working I guess. Also I think I know where my anger goes - to Jasper it seems. Well, he was in Karkat form today and he was so irritated. He really just wanted to punch things and stuff but he at least managed to keep himself calm.

I don't know if I'll journal from my mums but I'm taking my laptop so hopefully I will. At least we don't have to sleep on the floor lmao. I just hope she's gonna be patient with me and my pain and actually realize that I can't do all the things I used to. I really hope this trip is gonna be all 'ah I love my family and I'm sad to leave them again' rather than 'how am I related to this assholes' but we'll see.

In the least it's gonna be nice to see Marty and everyone else. I feel kinda bad that this will only be the second time I see him but it's not like it's our fault, my sister could visit us any time if she wanted.

Anyways, bed time. Night night.